Circe (_honeyspider) wrote in nyxmen,

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I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks.

Well, the muses decided they wouldn't torture me by making me write anything graphic. Which was nice of them I guess. *hugs Jubes* This scene scares me. I admit it. Cause I knew perfectly well all the time writing it that Jubilee's biggest fear is Logan. That she could lose him to the animal inside scares her. At least I can sleep now though.


Jubilee pushed the door open with her foot, her arms filled with groceries. “Hello?” she called out. She didn’t expect an answer. This was the fourth time she’d come and he’d never been here. With a sigh she dropped the bags unto the bench and began packing things away in the shelves above her.

She heard the low growl and spun around with a grin. “Wolvie!” he was standing not three feet for her and with a giggle she threw her arms around him. “Logan, I’ve missed you so much!” he was unmoving and she frowned. Odd. But he had moved. His head had fallen forward, his face resting where her shoulder met her throat. He was taking long deep breathes and she stopped moving. “Wolvie? Are you okay?” he made the growl again and this time she was able to recognise it. It was the possessive sound he made when letting others know that something belonged to him. How many times had he made it when some guy had come to close to Jubilee? It disturbed her that he made it now when there was no one to warn off. She spoke in a smooth voice. “Yeah, it’s Jubilee. It’s okay. I’m still yours.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew they were wrong. With a growl his hands dug into her arms and she yelped, his breath still hot on her throat. She tried to pull away, but it wasn’t happening. Part of her was starting to panic. This was her Wolvie but- she tried not to whimper, gritting her teeth as he dug his hands in harder. “You’re hurting me.” she felt her stomach drop and she froze when she felt his teeth graze her throat. She made her voice gentle. He responded to that. How many times had she been able to talk him out of something terrible. “Wolvie?” pause. He didn’t move, didn’t loosen his grip. She could feel the bones in her arms almost cracking. “Logan?”

With a slow movement she reached up, trying to get her arms free, scared that he was going to break them.


She froze and let her gaze fall down to his claws. Her voice was a whisper. “Please, Logan, let me go…Logan? Wol-” Her words were cut off with his growl as her lifted her and spun round, slamming her down on the table behind them. She cried out at the impact, her vision flashing with the force and blinked a few times. She made the move to sit up but he growled, leaning over her and pinning her there. “Logan! Stop this right now!” the anger in her words was reduced by the fact that she was terrified. A fact that she knew Logan could smell. He grabbed a hold of her wrists with one of his hands, shoving them down above her head. “This isn’t funny!” there was a shrillness in her voice that she couldn’t hide. And then he was pulling his belt open with his free hand and she knew what he was going to do.

She stared at him, struggling as hard as she could now and hearing her wrist crack under his pressure. She was panicking as she realised that she couldn’t paf him with her hands pinned like this. She couldn’t do a thing. She stared up at him watching her like a starving animal. She felt his claws before she even saw them move. He could be gentle with those claws. How many times has she been surprised at how much so? He wasn’t gentle this time. He sliced through her clothes and she felt them against her skin, unable to move and see how deep he cut. She hissed her breath, feeling the pain and he yanked her jeans off. She was shaking her head at him. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t hurt her like this! “Logan! Don’t! Pleasedon’tdothis!”

He didn’t hear her- or he ignored her- and she screamed when he thrust into her suddenly. She screamed as loud as she could, feeling the pain of it all through her. He sound didn’t even make him pause in his movements. When Jubilee was thirteen she had pondered, briefly, what it would be like to sleep with Logan. She hadn’t imagined this. She couldn’t get him off her, couldn’t get him to stop even though she kept screaming it at him. The pafs she let off didn’t hit him, didn’t even come close. She just laid there as he fucked her, pain searing into her, crying, begging and screaming all at the same time. And he didn’t stop. She thought he would never stop.

Finally, with a loud grunt he came inside her and then collapsed on top of her. Jubilee sobbed underneath him, his hot body hard against her. Her head fell to the side and she saw there blood there and knew it was hers. She realised it in a detached fashion, staring at it pooling. All of her hurt, but she couldn’t quite take it all in. Screaming flesh demanding her attention. Limp wrists in his hand, stomach burning, ribs crushed, the painful size of him still in her. She moaned, able to get out nothing more. She didn’t have any screaming left now.

After a long time he released her wrists and she felt a whole new pain shoot through them. She didn’t move from where they lay. Too much trouble. Too much pain. He groaned slightly and then pulled out of her, making her gasp through clenched teeth. He stumbled back away from her, pressing his face against the kitchen cabinet. Jubilee watched him and felt the sting at her belly again. Slowly, with a tiny whimper, she slid her hand down to her stomach and felt the blood there. Her brain seemed to be working in some small part of it. It supplied her with Ah, that’s where the blood’s coming from in a very logical voice. A gash. She wouldn’t move to see it. No point. Her fingers were inside the flesh. Too deep. Far too much blood.

She heard his voice from across the room, almost silent, cracking. “Jubilation…” she moved her eyes very slowly to him. She suddenly felt so slow. Her body like lead, pain fading from it, being replaced by what she hoped would be sleep. He was turning from the cabinet to look at her. He was slow too. Different slow, she thought. She heard his voice. So low. Quiet in the empty room. Don’t disturb the hush. The words echoed in her head before stopping to let her understand them. What have I done?

She let her eyes fall shut, her hand sliding off her stomach and into the pool of blood beside her with a wet thud. She could feel him touching her and she tried to pull herself away but lacked the strength. The thought of paf-ing him faded in her mind as she couldn’t quite be bothered to lift her hand. He was saying things. Words that crashed into each other in her mind, twisting and falling together. Jubilee baby sorry Jubes please Darlin’ can’t don’t Jubilee sorry… so many words that all meant so little to her. She could hear birds on the fire escape and thought rather absently that she hoped they were blue jays. It was the right time of year.

She didn’t flinch when he picked her up- what was the point?- pulling her into his arms. And they were moving, going somewhere, Logan still muttering those words don’t, can’t, won’t but somehow, to Jubilee, it just didn’t seem to matter.
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